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the macrolust finished her 3rd homemade scarf for Ra

30 Aug

the hum and the scarf

made with love


i thought my first home making would be for Ra but it didn`t. this one is for him. i made it in his favorite colors, black and red. there`s nine lines, just like the number of his birth day.

i couldn`t give him the scarf last night because he went home earlier so i got more time to put some details in his scarf and used myself to be the model then play with my macrolust a little bit (gah. i love the yarn`s detail). this isn`t only a present for you, Ra. i hope you`re not gonna masuk angin too often anymore by wearing this scarf. partner you


2nd homemade scarf with pom-pom

29 Aug



my second experiment. love the thin yarn a lot. i finished it this afternoon and already gave it to my bestie. she wears it as a belt. and oh, i added some cute white details, pom-pom :p

here it is



photographs by samaya

sorry seems to be the hardest word

28 Aug

manjali dan cakrabirawa

for someone who admires Saman and Larung then enjoy reading Bilangan Fu, i am now feel very sad bot h disappointed to this sequel of Bilangan Fu, Manjali dan Cakrabirawa.

from the title, i was thinking the story will be awesome because for me, it sounds so powerful and sexy (i like those kind of names). but when i read the first chapter, oh la la, i know i am not going to give this book many stars.

personally, i am disappointed because Ayu totally destroyed Marja`s character which i found really good and tough in Bilangan Fu. how could she became such an annoying pampered teenager. the next part of the book which made me frown is when Ayu wrote, “Gerwani sepayung dengan PKI”. i think it`s totally a mistake because Gerwani was more like “satu haluan” with PKI.

in Bilangan Fu, i found that she was quite success with her spiritualism whatever construction then i`m lost in the sequel. i don`t know where this novel will take me–whether because i read some good books previously, or quoting my best friend that the issues are familiar to us, or whatever.

as an adventure story, this isn`t feel so much like that. Donal Bebek is more adventurous. i`m so much bothered about the portion. the adventures to the temples or cliffs or forest and so on are so little. but she gave so much space for Marja to explore and express her feeling–love or lust, i don`t know, til i think that MAYBE, Marja is her alterego.

compared to Saman, Larung, and Bilangan Fu, Manjali and Cakrabirawa is SO FLAT. the characters are shallow and even as a pop novel, lighter story, it is failed. again, i am sorry to be cynical, but the novel feels a little bit too much and what, lebay?

my best friend pushed me to read this novel. i don`t know because i`m going to travel to some archaeological sites in East Java or to share her pain because this novel. but yeah, i still believe that there is still a goodness in every annoying stuff. at least, i foundreferences of places in East Java like Belahan Temple and some others that i haven`t write on my note yet.

i used to admire Ayu Utami but i have to say a big sorry, this is the worst book with a worst ending i ever read for the last one year.

1st homemade scarf for the cave man

27 Aug




i have an interest on knitting since too long ago (probably high school, when i saw the comic`s character knits). year by year pass, i didn`t have enough time to do it yet. i did some little cross stitching but it didn`t feel as good as knitting.

the story began when i finally see one of my bestie egain. she`s still in her divorce process, taking care of this and that. we talked and talked and talked until she said that she`s knitting now. there, i beg her to teach me how.

so a couple weeks later, i went to her house for her little boy`s birthday party. she taught me how to knit. she let me take one yarn and a pair of needle, back home. that moment, i failed and failed. i think i couldn`t knit myself without a teacher beside me, yet, beside i was still busy with my traveling and other activities. so the yarn and the needle are stuck in my old room (probably until now, since i left it without any memo)

then i started again. this time with a more flexible time and space. i was always doubt whether i did it right or wrong until i met my bestie again and consulted my creativity. she said i`m already in the right path, so go on.

oh. so happy to know that.

after about five trials and errors, there i go. i started to knit nine lines for scarf, carefully. in the end, it was still fucked up because i went from nine to eleven and then thirteen until it finished. but it doesn`t matter lah, because it`s my very first time (not bad for a beginner, my bestie said).

i completed it in three sleepless night. i was about to give it to my boyfriend (Ra)  then i changed my mind: i wanted to give it to my bestie, but then i changed my mind again. i gave it to an Ambonese i and Ra met at Goa Langse (Langse Cave), Gunungkidul–still close to Parangtritis. This is him:

the cave man

(there will be a special post about Goa Langse and this guy)

i found knitting is totally good for my mental health. it helps me a lot to calm down after what i`ve been through. it helps my mind to recover itself and put things in the right place–before, i was displace at most of the time. it helps me gaining my spirit of life back, step by step. it maybe slow, but it seems like i don`t need another acceleration in my life. it helps me to remember good things and smile, because when i remember the bad things or any trauma, i would loss the right path i`ve been building.

i`m doing my second yarn construction at the moment. this time a tiny scarf–only five lines, for my bestie. i`m imagining that it`ll be able to be mixed with her office dress or to be her belt since she doesn`t own any belt.

when i`m tired of knit, i sometimes look at the yarn and the needle and hope that Ra wouldn`t distract my philosophical focus on them. slowly and i hope for sure, i learned that knitting is another way of philosophy. with it, i may say goodbye to the thick philosophy books and suggest myself more and more and life is about knitting the experiences, trials, errors, and journeys.